After searching for many factors including myriad happy long term couples, I would believe that the quality of being humble is the most important thing to maintain virtuousness between partners.
When one lives in modesty, it makes it possible to truly commit to one another, rather than treat your relationships as an enjoyment. It allows you to stay the course for the relationship, rather than succumb to the indecisive mind, or ego, which consistently collects evidence against your partner. From humility, one can let go of undue concern with trivial issues of everyday things for the benefit of unity and harmony. My husband and I have married couples values. Number one is “Unity and Commitment.” We are committed no matter what. We have both decided that neither of us is going anywhere. However, we have examples of long term couples who are bitter yet will never part. That is why we added “Unity.” We stay the course of marriage and maintain peace and love in the relationship.
If we are humble, we can know that ultimately, our spouse cannot make us angry. They can certainly give us countless opportunities to choose anger, but that decision is ours alone. In humility, we can discuss any topic, even the petty ones, and find a firm decision to do or not to do something since the need to punish our partner is pulled out..
When we go beyond the obstacles, especially from a team spirit, we get the true magic on the other side. Instead of running, the two of you get a deeper sense of intimacy than you may have imagined possible.
Our relationships activate our old stories; ” not enough,” “not supported,” “not lovable,” etc. When we see our “activities” and agree not to inflict each other with it, we can then release and cure successfully that old worn out garbage within the safe harbor of the relationship.
Humility is the quality of being really real about who and what you are-the good and the bad, and presenting yourself honestly. Additionally, it is being ready to do what is right for the marriage over what seems right for the individual in the moment.
Compatibility = Friendship + Empathy + Mutual Need Fulfillment
Friendship: Understanding and caring for each other as friends. For gauging the depth of the friendship between two people: Ask yourself, “Would we want each other in our lives even if there were no sexual attraction between us?”
Empathy – Understanding where the other person is coming from. Their needs, biases, weaknesses and the roots of all these. As long as you genuinely want to and try to understand each other, you’ll find your relationship is attaining new depths.